I know this is quite controversial and I'm going to be eaten for this, but being the feminist that I am, I'll say it anyway. If you disagree with me, tell me why.

My major reason is that our culture is one which enhances and promotes the spread of HIV within ourselves. I am not attacking our African culture, I am African too, and a very proud one at that! However, I believe that when the rhythm of the drums change, the dance-steps must change also. HIV is playing a different rhythm in Africa, the infection rates are not reducing like that of other diseases (polio, malaria etc) therefore I believe it is time we change our dance to it. It is time we start identifying culprits which we may not have noticed before. Here are the culprits I identified. Again, you do not have to agree with me. However, if you have a differing opinion, bring it out and I we will consider.

We (more profound in certain tribes) are socially conditioned to believe that men are superior and women are inferior. Have you ever noticed how, when a woman gives birth and is asked the gender of the baby, if it's a boy, everyone is like "Thank God o, so when are we coming to kill the goat?" if it's a girl, it's "Thank God she's alive" *In some cases* " So when are we coming to kill your wife?"

Therefore men should be the ones in control and women should be the ones in submission. This is a stereotype of the normal, average african family. However when the door closes, this leaves little or no ability to the woman to negotiate sexual encounters.
- To ask the husband to put on a condom would mean she is being promiscous, and fingers immediately point at her. This could also mean shes 'accusing' him of infidelity.
- To refuse sex would mean shes 'pushing' her husband into more eager participants aka certain chicks in certain University backyards.

Therefore the woman has to comply in order to keep her husband. Have you heard Alibaba's joke about the man who had 13 unmarried daughters? Funny but that is an eample of the social stigma attachd to unmarried women over a certain age. It's ok for a man to be single at 35, for a woman, she needs praying, fasting plus night vigil.

Also, multiple sex partners for a man is usually a sign of wealth and control. (i.e Oga,i respect you o! You carry two wife keep for house!)**I lie?**. One common model would be a HIV positive Nigerian man, Mr Koboko with 2 wives but who can be frequently found **in some halls, in some Universities** 'looking for action'. This man is one of the reasons 57% of the 3.3million people living with HIV in Nigeria are women.

Talking about Mr. Koboko's family, let's move on to his wives, Kulikuli and Sisipelebe.They are dependent on him for everything from feeding to children's school fees to sex. Their roles in life are in no particular order, to look after the home and kids and to satisfy their husband. How then can they go out and get enough knowledge to ask Mr. Koboko to put on a condom? In fact, na who give Kulikuli liver, even if she knows just by watching tv?

Ok, lets leave the society and men alone, and talk about other factors

Education. Sex is a taboo subject in most communities so we find it extremely hard to talk about the dangers of unsafe sex. First of all, Mr.Koboko is too busy (making money and continuing his lineage) to discuss with his wife about who will educate the children - moimoi, agidi, akamu and the rest. Secondly, if Mrs.Koboko was to do 'THE TALK' on her own, how would she know what to say? Who would she meet to educate her and how would she meet them (as she never leaves the house)? Ok, lets do a random poll. How many of us females have had either of our parents speak to us about "Hope you are preparing for marriage o" **My hand is up**. Good. Now, how many of us have had either parent speak to us about the dangers of HIV/Unprotected sex? And I'm not talking about "Moimoi, have you seen 'red thing' in your cloth? Good. Now if a boy touches you, you will catch belle o."

The quest to survive has overriden any concerns the very average African might have about HIV, therefore anti-retrovirals are out of the question. . .

Thank you very much for getting this far in my mock essay. Now you can change the music.

Sites I have looked at, relating to this (i.e statistics etc):
www.avert.com
www.health24.com